Maple and Pasta
by Spainsarmada
Summary: Gakuen Hetalia AU. Matthew Williams and Lovino Vargas are both used to being ignored in favor of their younger brothers. They both know what it's like to feel sad and alone. They're both ready to just give up. Then they meet each other, and everything changes.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: Explicit sexual situations, Mentions of self harm and language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of the following characters.**

**Cover Credit: member_ ?mode=medium&illust_id=36261538**

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Matthew Williams had never been so depressed in his life. He had never made so many mistakes. He had never been more thankful hardly anyone knew he existed. The Canadian teenager sat alone in a corner, thinking about how badly he had fucked up his life, while everyone else attending Antonio and Lovino's dorm party enjoyed themselves. Except of course, for Lovino Vargas.

The sixteen-year-old Italian was almost always angry, but tonight, he really wanted to kill someone. Not only had his idiot roommate decided it was okay to throw a party in their dorm, but Lovino had also just been informed of quite possibly the most horrible news ever. His baby brother had a boyfriend. That's right. A boyfriend. The homophobic teen had never been angrier.

And it wasn't even just that Feliciano was dating a boy. Lovino had known for awhile that his brother swung both ways, and he was starting to get used to it. It still disgusted him, but he didn't want Feli out of his life, so he tried to look past it. What he could not look past was the fact that Feli's boyfriend was a total prick. He thought he was better than everyone, and he especially thought he was better than Lovino.

And the worst part was, Lovino could do nothing about it. Feliciano was convinced he was in love, and Lovino wouldn't stand a chance against Ludwig Beilschmidt in a fight. The German was probably twice his size, and very intimidating. Of course, the Italian would never admit he was afraid of the blue-eyed man. Instead, he'd just insult the German from afar and hide behind his asshole of a roommate if need be.

Unfortunately for him, Antonio was too busy hanging around with his loud friend Gilbert, and his pervy friend Francis, who also happened to be Lovino's cousin. Not that it mattered. Ludwig had no intentions of fighting Lovino. In fact, the taller male barely paid any attention to the Italian's taunts. Eventually, Lovino just gave up. He was wasting his time, and he was sick of making a fool of himself.

Instead, the teenager decided to wonder around his dorm, looking for someone to hangout with. Of course, he wasn't very successful seeing as the only two people he spoke to were currently preoccupied. Lovino was just about ready to leave. There was nothing for him here. Maybe he could find something exciting to do on campus? He doubted it, but at least he'd be away from all these idiots.

Just as he was heading for the door, he caught sight of a blond sitting in the corner, looking miserable. For a moment, Lovino only stared at the boy. Then, before he even knew what he was doing, he was walking towards the pale, sad looking teen. He took a seat next to him and let out a sigh. "What's wrong with you?" He probably could have found a better way to ask that, but this was Lovino. It was amazing he had asked the question without using the word "Bastard."

The blond slowly turned his gaze towards Lovino, looking shocked that the Italian had even noticed he was there. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Lovino was ready to give up. If this kid didn't wanna talk to him, that was fine by him. It's not like he really wanted to talk to the guy anyways. He was just looking for a way to cure his boredom. He was about to stand and walk away, when the blond spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

"N-nothings wrong with me." Something about the way the Violet-eyed blond said those words made any thoughts of leaving disappear from Lovino's mind. Hell, he didn't think he could move if he wanted to. He was trapped under that purple-eyed gaze. "O-oh. Okay then... So, what's your name?" He figured he may as well ask, since something told him he wouldn't be leaving the blond's side for awhile.

"...Matthew Williams." Again with that shocked look. Had this Matthew kid never spoken to anyone before? It surely seemed that way. "Er... Okay. You know, when someone asks for your name, you're supposed to ask for their's too..." He said, not in the angry way he usually would, but more as if he were hurt that the other hadn't asked.

"Oh. S-sorry... What's your name?" The way Matthew spoke was so strange to Lovino. He was so quiet, it was hard to understand him, and he always seemed worried that he was going to offend someone. For some reason, Lovino liked it. "Lovino Vargas." He stated plainly, eyes never leaving Matthew's.

"O-oh! So this is your dorm then?" Matthew blushed then, causing a strange feeling to erupt in Lovino's stomach. He had to force himself to look away and clear his throat before replying. "Y-yeah. Of course, the tomato bastard who shares this room with me seems to forget that sometimes." He huffed. Antonio really pissed him off at times.

"Oh... I'm sorry." Lovino could tell things were awkward, and he was thinking he should probably leave Matthew alone, but for some reason, he just couldn't leave. It was pretty aggravating. "Erm... So why are you all alone?" He didn't want to pry, but curiosity had gotten the better of him. He hoped this wouldn't cause the timid blond to start crying or anything like that. Though really, with a depressed look like that, he wouldn't be surprised.

For a long while, Matthew didn't say anything. He just looked at the ground intently. After a few more moments of silence, the blond took a deep breath and returned his violet orbs to Lovino's green ones. "I just like to be alone, okay?" Lovino swore he saw a hint of anger in the blond's eyes, but it was so hard to picture the timid male being angry.

Then again, what did Lovino know about Matthew? Nothing. He could be a murderer for all he knew. "Alright, fine. Sorry for bugging you..." Lovino said, standing up. Had it been anyone else, Lovino would have cursed them out and stormed off for making him feel so uncomfortable. So why couldn't he be angry with the blond?

The Italian decided not to question it anymore, and began walking away, when he heard a quiet "Wait." Lovino turned to look back at Matthew, a bit surprised to see the blond looking at him and blushing lightly. The sight brought heat to his own cheeks. "What?" He asked softly, truly curious to know why Matthew had stopped him.

The blond's cheeks only reddened further at Lovino's question, and the Italian was quite certain the sight was going to kill him, though he wasn't sure why. Finally, Matthew spoke up. "Th-Thank you for noticing me." Lovino could only stare as the violet-eyed teen stood and exited his room. What an odd thing to say.

Luckily, the party died down not long after, and Lovino was left to his thoughts. He fell asleep thinking of those beautiful Violet eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Matthew had barely made it out of the dorm before bursting into tears. What the Hell had made him think it would be a good idea to go to a party? Especially after how poorly the last one had gone... Thinking about what had taken place at the beach party he had attended only a week ago made him want to burst into tears all over again.

Of course, everything that happened had been his fault. He deserved the hate he was getting. In fact, he didn't think he was getting enough; The Canadian believed he deserved to have the living hell beat out of him.

He had had sex with his brother's boyfriend. Sure, they had both been drunk, but that didn't make it okay. Matthew should have been able to stop it. No matter how intoxicated he had been, he should have been able to sense it was wrong. He should have known how much it would hurt Alfred if he found out. But at the time, he really didn't care. He just wanted Arthur.

Matthew had been in love with Arthur Kirkland since the moment he met him. The two had reached for the same book in the library, which had led to a wonderful conversation about all the books the two adored.

The Canadian was certain his heart shattered when his loud little half-brother burst into the library and wrapped an arm around Arthur, introducing him as his boyfriend. Alfred always got everything Matthew wanted, and frankly, he was sick of it.

Matthew wanted Arthur more than he had ever wanted anything or anyone. It was so unfair. He had to watch as his brother and the beautiful Briton held hands, hugged, and every so often kissed in front of the Canadian. It killed him.

So when Arthur had come on to him, how could he refuse? Yes, Arthur was drunk. Yes, he thought Matthew was Alfred. But still, he was offering. So it couldn't be that bad, right?

That's what Matthew had told himself before he fucked Arthur. It was okay, because Arthur asked for it; Begged for it even. And Matthew was too drunk to care how any of them would feel about it the next day.

But it wasn't okay. It was wrong and horrible, and he wanted to die because of it. And when Arthur had approached him the next day, tears in his eyes, asking Matthew about the previous nights events, the Canadian considered killing himself right there.

Arthur had awoken the next morning and complimented Alfred on the great sex; to which Alfred laughed and made a joke about the Brit having dreams about him. Arthur had prayed that was what it was, but he remembered some things about Alfred being off. Like his hair being a bit too long, and his voice far too quiet.

The Briton prayed he was wrong, but he wasn't. Everything he'd thought he'd done with Alfred, he had done with Matthew, and he was furious with Matthew because of it.

Not that the Canadian could exactly blame him. Despite being intoxicated, he hadn't been nearly as out of it as Arthur. He should have said no, but how could he? He wanted the Brit so bad. Needed him.

In the end, it most definitely had not been worth it. Sure, it felt great, and he got to have Arthur, if only for a moment, but now Arthur hated him. Alfred would too, if he ever found out.

Luckily, Arthur didn't seem to have any intentions of telling his boyfriend about it. However, that wasn't going to stop the guilt Matthew was feeling.

Matthew practically ran to his own room, thankful his roommate hadn't looked as though he planned on leaving the party anytime soon. The Canadian just wanted to be alone right now. He yanked his door open and threw himself onto his unmade bed, pulling the covers over his head.

Matthew pulled himself into the fetal position and bit his lip as he attempted to cease his tears. All he could think of was how stupid he was and how he regretted being born. He searched desperately for something to rid his mind of Arthur.

The only thing he could think of was his conversation with Lovino Vargas.

What had caused the Italian to approach him, of all people? Most people had enough trouble noticing Matthew when he was the only other person in the room. How had Lovino noticed him sitting in the corner in a crowded dorm?

It struck Matthew as odd, but he wouldn't complain. Lovino had been kind. Awkward, but kind. Which was especially strange, because Lovino was known for his short temper and hatred of most everyone.

So why had he been so amiable to Matthew? He certainly didn't deserve it. He and Lovino had never even interacted before.  
Not to mention, the brunet had already been pissed off. The Canadian hadn't caught exactly what had made him so livid, but he heard him screaming before he joined him in the corner.

Still, as uncomfortable and ephemeral as it had been, it made Matthew happy. It was rare someone came over just to talk to him.  
Usually, if someone was speaking to him, it was to ask about Alfred. Or about homework. He very seldom engaged in conversations like he and Lovino's. Matthew couldn't help but hope there would be more exchanges like that one; as unlikely as that was.

He could definitely see himself and Lovino becoming friends. So long as the Italian didn't forget about him, of course.

It would really suck if Matthew tried to speak to Lovino again and he couldn't even remember him. In fact, that would probably make him cry.  
So, even though he had been the only thing able to distract Matthew from how horrible of a person he was, the Canadian decided it was best to just forget about him. He couldn't deal with anymore heartache right now.

So, even though he didn't want to, he did his best to forget about the angry Italian boy who made his night just a little less horrible.

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**Note: **I'm sorry there wasn't any interaction between Mattie and Lovi in this chapter! I just had to reveal why Matthew was an emotional wreck. I promise they will start to be awkward cuties in the next chapter! I actually really like how this story is coming along. I'm gonna try to update _at least _once a week. No promises, though. Anyways, please review! Reviews make me super happy and I really want to know what you guys think. Thank you!


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